Hey, everyone. It’s Kenny again. And I’m…more than a little embarrassed.
It turns out that Waif-chan was the Unnamed Child. And I hadn’t even stopped to consider that possibility.
Last wasn’t happy. He’s barely spoken to me since he killed her. It’s not even like he’s mad at me. He’s mad at Crimson and Gabe. He says they should have known better. With me, he just seems…disappointed. And I think I know why. He’s worried that this might mean I can’t be this “Hero” he’s looking for.
I never asked for this, though. I never asked to be roped into a war against the Fears. I just wanted to survive. It was easier when I didn’t have people counting on me or expecting anything from me other than trying to save my own skin. I’d be angry at Last for being disappointed in me, if it weren’t for the fact that…I actually feel legitimately disappointed in myself.
“I don’t know why it bothers me,” I told Phones the other day as we played a game of chess. He tapped the table once to let me know he had me in check. “I don’t want to do this, but…I feel like I have to, you know? It’s tough.” He never listens, but that’s maybe why I enjoy talking to him. It’s just easier to get my thoughts out that way, even if he can’t hear what I’m saying.
And that’s where I am right now. Hating myself. Hating Last. Unsure of what to do or where to go.